Wednesday, August 26, 2009

If real life were like a role-playing game…

  • Young boys and girls, with no martial arts or weapons training whatsoever, could pick fights with almost anyone or anything and win.

  • Wild, hostile animals could easily (and legally) be captured, domesticated, and trained to fight along side you, or in your place.

  • No one would lock their doors, or mind if you barged into their homes uninvited, initiated random conversations, or rummaged through their possessions.

  • Death would be reversible with an item or spell (unless death occurs during a movie, then it is permanent and irreversible).

  • Invisible creatures would randomly appear and attack you for no discernible reason.

  • Everybody would talk to you about even the most mundane topics.

  • When someone told you something important, they'd ask you if you understood before letting you leave. If you said no, they'd repeat everything word for word until you understood.

  • You'd get money for killing animals.

  • Hospitals would be put out of business by hotels.

  • All shops would be open 24/7, even during the apocalypse.

  • All of our hair would be perfect, even after hours of battle.

  • Most people would have only one thing to say, and repeat it endlessly when talked to. For some, this would be a conversational improvement.

  • Loud blasts of victorious music would accompany the completion of even menial tasks.

  • Social groups in school would change from the jocks and nerds, to the Fighters and Mages.

  • Doctors would only have to examine your HP and status bar to determine your health.

  • You could survive poisoning by staying perfectly still.

  • Blindness would only affect you in a fight; otherwise you could navigate just fine, examine objects, read entire books, etc.

  • Areas would only need 5 houses and a few dozen residents to be legally classified as a city, and most cities would be within a reasonable walking distance from each other.

Special thanks to all my friends who contributed ideas to this list!

1 comment:

  1. Don't forget, the Last HP is all that matters.

    If you have more than 1, you can't take a lot of damage with no ill effect; but you have 1 HP (left or overall) then a simple prick end you.